Gilbert David Bowlin and Gilda
My awesome second cousin David once told me that for the first several years of his life he actually believed his initials G.D. stood for Goddamned, because his mother often repeated the phrase, “You make me so goddamned angry.” David was a late in life accident for his parents, and he was often reminded that he wasn’t a happy or welcome accident. This probably accounts for the majority of his FABulous humor. David and his wiener dog Gilda hosted me during my time in Detroit, and I had a great time with one of my relatives I don’t get to see enough of, and enjoyed meeting his dog who couldn’t get enough of humping my arm. To show an example of how wonderful he is, upon my departure from Detroit, David and I knocked back two vodka cocktails before leaving for the bus station. David gave me a few Xanax’s to bring with me on the bus. And then when we got out to his car for the ride to the station, there was a fresh cocktail waiting for me in the cupholder. Very few people ever think to include a car cocktail. He’s my only gay relative and I love him to death. When I first found out that I had a gay relative years after coming out of the closet, I asked my mother why she didn’t ever tell me that cousin David in Detroit was gay. Her answer, “David’s always been different.” Yes, well. The attached portrait hangs in David’s guest bathroom. The small engraved plate reads “mother”, however this is not in fact a portrait of his mother.